Does anybody else have trouble orgasming?

Early 30s, circumcised dude that's never orgasmed with a woman. I'm trying what I can to change that.
I've even tried a 2 hour session with a pretty wg and I still couldn't cum on 5000mg of l-histidine(makes people premature ejaculate)

Does anyone have any tips that were dealing with the same situation? I haven't looked at porn or jerked off in 6 months!

@tsundere.yander

No problem getting hard. I can stay rock hard for hours.

@sonorance
Yeah. I've tried the same WG 3 times--one of which was for an extended period.

@hobbier @booby_lover
Do you have any recommendations for the bay area?

@davegrewl

I'm not on SSRIs. I saw my primary doc about it, and he said that since I can orgasm without a partner that it might be in my head. I dated a girl a for a few months a while ago, and even though I was comfortable with her and we had a lot of sex, I still wasn't able to climax.

@krasse

Yeah, I've tried that too, but I just wasn't able to finish

@susanlixxx

Sadly, I've always had this problem.

@gg1234
I hope so too.

Besides the usual sex therapist, sex coach, sex counselor, have you considered SPT- surrogate partner therapy- which may be fun even! Looks like there are some really hot licensed surrogate therapist who will not only coach you but actually go through the actual intimate required needs and the deed as well. It may even be covered by your insurance. How long has this been going on? Has this always been the case? Any traumatic events? I can imagine it being frustrating and demoralizing that only gets worse with every non-completed events. Can imagine it being frustrating for your partners over time as well.
Seriously consider SPT!
A hot girl with a degree to help you mentally, emotionally and physically overcome your climax issues. That’s exactly what you need come to think about it!

@krasse

I have legit never heard of surrogate partner therapy. Have you done this before?

It's been like this my entire life. I wouldn't say I've had any traumatic events, but maybe being forbidden from dating in my younger years may have affected me somehow?

It's incredibly demoralizing and I just get more and more into my head every time I'm intimate with someone. When they tell me to cum and I can't, it sucks.

Easier said than done, of course, but the more often you "fail", the harder it will be the time after that. You have to try to keep out of your own head when it comes to thinking about it. Don't think "I don't ever cum" or "I always fail to cum" or "please hurry up and cum". All of these things have a negative connotation to them, and will just compound the issue, making it even harder the next time.

A strange suggestion, but try putting porn on in the background. If you are able to finish yourself normally, then maybe the porn will help. Most WG I've met won't really consider it "weird", and won't mind it either. Especially if it helps you cum a little more quickly. Might help take the thoughts out of your head as well. Good luck, mate.

I used to have this issue as well, back in my 20s. In fact, when I lost my virginity to a fucking goddess (19, blame jesus), I didn't cum that night, and instead finished the next morning. My issue, as I later found out, was that I jacked off too much. I mean, there is no such thing as too much, but I had an addiction. I don't think I'd ever had a "wet dream" because once I found out about cumming, I was nonstop; like 2-5 times a day back then. I slowed down in my 30s to 1 to 3 times per day. I had actually never gone, for example, two or three days without coming.

Plus, I learned to jack off raw, no lube, so I think my brain was used to the feeling of a hand, rather than that moist cavern. I could pop in a minute or two with my hand, but then experienced issues when fucking; my ham-handed cure (pun intended) was to think of a porn I had watched recently, and that would make me pop.

Now that I'm older, as long as I don't cum that day, sometimes a day before (if i'm drinking), I have no issue. Don't know if any of this is useful, but good luck!

@Lazy_Ad6604

I tried watching sex with porn that I was into in the background with the last girl I was dating, but I still couldn't cum.

@FrancoisLegrand

I too thought it would be a porn/jerk off issue, but then I haven't jerked off in 7 months. I too learned to jerk it raw as a kid too, but handjobs haven't worked either.

If you can cum while jacking off to porn, then try jacking off the base of your penis while the rest of your penis is inside her. If this doesn't work, then you may be subconsciously attracted to the men in porn. Try a ladyboy that passes for female so that your conscious will not feel like you are homo but your subconscious will be satisfied. I mean, logically, think about it. If you can jack off to porn & cum but you cannot cum with a woman, then you are attracted to something in porn that is missing in real life: the MALE porn actor.

OR schedule DP with a male AND a female provider. I used to have the same problem you had until I weaned myself off porn for over 2 years. I also had to transition slowly back to females by having sessions with ladyboys, then DPs, then finally just the female. It has to be the EXACT SAME FEMALE you had the DP with, sans the male performer. THEN, you can go back to just the female WG.

This may sound ridiculous but hear me out: autoerotic asphyxiation. I don't mean getting choked, but actually holding your breath. I have the exact same problem and a lack of oxygen to the brain plus sexual stimulation will get me hard as a rock. Here's how you do it: When having sex, exhale maybe half of your air and then hold it. Use your grunts and moans as opportunities to exhale air without making it look like you're trying to suffocate yourself, and don't inhale until you feel like you really have to, then breathe in just a little , never giving yourself a big breath. After a minute, you're basically in a state where you have a lack of oxygen to your brain and it should be much easier to stay hard. If you accidentally take a big breath, just start over. Once you get good at it, it becomes easy to starve yourself of oxygen while fucking; it might look a bit silly but being hard as tungsten should offset the embarrassment. My favorite method is to just get the woman to smother me in her breasts if they are large enough, and that works like a charm.

If this sounds silly, you can test it while masturbating. Jerk it and hold your breath, only taking small gasps when your lungs are fighting you. If I have a boring jerk session or have to hurry before work, I can pretty much control when I'm going to finish just by managing my breathing.

I swear to you, this works wonders and was an absolute game changer for me.